Wednesday, October 14, 2009

UGH

Just when I think things are getting back to normal, life happens again.

I spent most of last night up with the worst sore throat I've had in YEARS. It hurt to swallow at all! John kindly suggested I take some Advil but I declined, as a single swallow of water almost wouldn't go down. I got about 1 1/2 hours of sleep total over 8 hours. Not so good.

So, I called in sick to work today. I didn't have any meetings so it's not that big of a deal.

But I feel like it is.

Days like today make me feel like I'll never get where I believe God is leading me. Like I will be sick for the rest of my natural life.

My head knows that this is a virus - the doctor said so, and I know it's been going around and around and around at preschool and daycare. My daycare lady has even had it for the last week or so. It's not contagious by now but it's certainly enough to make me feel truly icky. (Yes, that's the technical term). I know that by the beginning of next week, we'll be back to normal - whatever that is - around here! At least that's what other people have said and I have reason to believe they're telling the truth.

The part of me that is susceptible to the evil one doesn't believe all that. I feel like I will get sicker and sicker until my kids have to watch me struggle to live. I coughed so hard last night at one point that it scared Buddy. His frightened face with his wide green eyes appears in my mind's eye every time I cough or start to feel like I can't swallow as well as I would like. I know that these scenarios aren't true - they're a fabrication. But still they come.

So I turn back to the Lord. Asking Him for continued healing, for rest, and to carry me through. And hopefully the ability to get some schoolwork done at home today too. :)

Soli Deo Gloria.
Amen.

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