In The Refiner's Fire

I tend to be a rather discontented person.  I spend a lot of time wandering in the land of the "If only...".  If only I had finished this PhD before we had kids... If only I hadn't gotten so sick...  If only I had a cleaner house... If only I had a different figure...or weight...or hair type...or dissertation topic...or food for dinner...or... You get the drift. The reality of the matter is that dwelling in the land of the "if only..." just makes a person more discontent.  I can't change things in the past - like doing this PhD thing earlier in my life or that I have two chronic medical conditions or that it took 18 months to get diagnosed properly.  I can't change the body type I was born with or the food that's already in my refrigerator.  The only thing I can do is make the most of what God has given to me - as imperfect as they may be and as imperfect as I am. I realized a long time ago that  having time makes me content .  Time to d...

Okay, so this photo really doesn't do these justice, but these are my children's shiny white tennis shoes, all ready for the first day of school.  I wrote yesterday how their shiny white shoes and their pristine white socks stuck with my through the day.  So clean and pristine - no scuffs, no spots, no been-washed-too-many-times gray-ness, no worn-out soles, and no frayed laces.  Just clean and white and ready for wear. I was thinking about that all day on Tuesday. I couldn't get it out of my head. Isn't that how we start out in life?  Shiny and new.  I remember holding my brand new babies and thinking about how they had none of the scuffs and stains of sin that we have as adults, or even that they have now as 5-year-olds.  I remember thinking that I would do nothing to mar that pristine newness.  I would be the perfect mom - always patient, always kind, leading and teaching my children by example and helping them to grow into perfect, self-less, lo...

My babies started Kindergarten yesterday.  *Sniff*  I can't believe its been a whole 5 years (actually a little more) since we brought them home from the hospital so tiny and new.  It's gone by in a flash.  They were so ready to walk in that door yesterday. I look at them now and think that they're young people, rather than babies or toddlers or even preschoolers.  My dear daughter has grown a whole 5 1/2 inches since Easter and her feet are now the same size as her brother's.  They both look like children, not babies or toddlers.  And people often think they are older than 5 because they are so tall (they're taller than some of the second graders at their school even!). Grammie came up from Iowa just for the morning - she's been to each of her grand children's first day of kindergarten so she wasn't about to miss this one!  Driving a whole 3 1/2 hours to get here and celebrate the first day of school with us. We curled hair, made sure sh...

See this little yellow guy?  We have had a host of them eating a banquet on the cone flower next to our back patio.  This picture was taken on the 4th of July this year.  It has seemed like almost every other morning, I look out the window and see this guy or one of his friends eating away.  I stood there for a long time this morning watching one of these little yellow friends having a feast, balanced carefully on top of a purple flower. These last few weeks have been very, very painful and stressful for me.  I feel overwhelmed, exhausted and just plain scared.  We have so much going on starting this week. So much.  So what's going on? * Kindergarten x2 * New job for Lea (approx. 30 hr/wk) * Dissertation work for Lea (approx 40hr/wk) * Committee work at church for Lea (approx 5 hr/wk) * 3 classes for John (approx 15 hr/wk) * Full time work for John (50+ hr/wk) * 15 hour/wk internship for John that includes teaching 2 adult and 1 youth class as ...

Oh, my another week!  And the kids start Kindergarten this week!  I've had some tough moments this week with realizing that we won't be driving to our beloved daycare anymore and we won't be wearing the homemade clothes from grandma every day anymore.  *Sniff.*  I am excited and I will probably cry a few tear on Tuesday morning when we drop them off, but that's the way I am and I'm excited about it - as are they! So what are we eating this week? Sunday, August 29: Breakfast: Cold Cereal Lunch: Chicken Dinner Fundraiser at Church Dinner: Wrap Sandwiches, Melon-Strawberry-Blueberry Salad Monday, August 30: Breakfast: Oatmeal with Cinnamon and Pecans Dinner: Chicken Nuggets, Lettuce Salad, Grape-Blueberry-Strawberry Salad Tuesday, August 31, First Day of School! Breakfast: Doughnuts and Strawberries and Blueberries Lunch: Out for Lunch at our Favorite Pizza Place (half day of school) Dinner: Pork Chops, Roasted Potatoes, Beets, Grape-Peach-Strawberry Salad Wednes...

Oh, my, oh my! Do I love my coffee!  I start my day with a hot cup just rocking in my living room rocking chair for about 10 minutes, enjoying the quiet and solitude.  In the summer, I might stand at my kitchen window enjoying the sunrise over the trees in my rear neighbor's yard and during the Christmas season, I sit with the houselights out and the tree lights on.  So very peaceful and it helps keep me grounded and gets my day off to a good start. As much as I love the solitude and the quiet, the coffee is just as much a favorite thing for me.  I love a hot cup of coffee!  Almost anywhere or any time of the day, coffee is something I will enjoy.  Oh, I like hot tea too - and it's usually my choice when I need something decaffeinated, but coffee is definitely my first choice. Oddly enough, I didn't start drinking coffee until I went to college.  I had a friend in high school who...

I love my coffee !  Hmmm...that's one thing I haven't written about on These are a Few of My Favorite Things!  Anyway, I love, love, love my coffee.  I buy my own beans and grind my coffee.  We even have a line item in the budget for my coffee - I'm not sure if that's pitiful or just realistic! :) I'm not a huge fancy coffee person - typically I just like regular old Joe, not the big fru-fru drinks from Starbucks or Caribou.  Though, the Caramel Machiatto is a really nice treat from time to time!  I think if I had one every day it would loose the 'special-ness' of it all.  I save it for coffee with a friend or a date night out with John.  I especially love flavored coffee but it can be pricey - more than the 'regular' kind anyway, at least in the brands I favor.  I do buy it occasionally, but found that I could by regular Colombian less expensively.  But I didn't want to give up my flavored coffee completely!  So, a couple ...