One of the things that has really struck me is that I spend too much time worrying.
I have a sneaking suspicion that it's at least partially a product of being chronically ill.
I worry about what will happen if I don't meet my obligations to my work.
I worry about what will happen if I don't meet my obligations to my family.
I worry about what will happen if I can't cook dinner on a particular night.
I worry about what will happen if I don't get the laundry or the ironing done this week.
I worry about what will happen if I become so ill that I need 24-hour care.
I worry about burdening my husband and my children with taking care of me.
I worry about burdening my husband and my children with things that "should" be my responsibility.
I worry about not having the finances to meet our financial obligations.
I worry about losing medical insurance.
I worry about losing a job and thus income.
I worry about my children not having shoes, or winter coats, or whatever they seem to be outgrowing at the moment.
I worry about appliances breaking and cars in need of repair and a whole host of things like that.
I could go on and on (and on and on...).
Often it really frustrates me because John worries about nothing. I mean, nothing. I often feel that if he worried even just a little bit, that I would worry less.
Not sure if that's actually the way it works, but in my mind it might be helpful.
Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
I have been reading again the writings of George Mueller again and I am repeatedly astounded by his faith and his willingness to rest in the Lord and His provision beyond all else. How I wish I had that type of faith! I hope that as the years pass I can worry less and lean more on Him and His abundant provision.
When you're in the thick of things as it were, it's so very hard to see the whole picture or even the larger picture.
Last night my husband received an email from a friend whose daughter "doesn't have enough money to eat" right now. I have no idea how true this statement is but I know that the grown, adult daughter isn't eating much at the moment. We offered her cabbage and zucchini - which can both be eaten raw or cooked, depending on the circumstances. She declined saying she didn't like those things.
I was reminded again how much we want things our way, not the Lord's way and how much we lean on our own abilities.
As I work on worry, I'm trying to focus on the ways the Lord provides. Even when it isn't my way!
Today I'd love to hear how the Lord provided for you at just the right time - please share in the comments! We can all use the reminder!
Soli Deo Gloria.
Soli Deo Gloria.